This post is not the norm of my writings but there is something heavy on my heart that I feel like I need to share with you, my friends. After all, I am here to build lasting relationships and how is that possible if we never get to truly know the personal side of one another?
One and a half years ago, our daughter was pregnant with their second child. Twenty-two weeks into the pregnancy she developed severe abdominal pains, which resulted in their son being born early. After giving birth, our grandson lived approximately eight hours. (Please excuse my flowing of tears right now) This was one the toughest ordeals I have ever been through in my life, not to mention having to perform the home going ceremony. I barely made it through that short time span.
I am telling you this because I am sure that most of you have lost a loved one and know what I am feeling at this very moment. I will never get over the heartache that is felt when I think of Colin. We are blessed to have another grandson that is almost 4 years old and he brings peace , joy and comfort to my heart each and every day.
I went to the cemetery last week and the thought crossed my mind as to why more of us do not visit our deceased loved ones on a regular basis. I know we have good intentions and I know there is nothing we can do for them, but if I were lying there it would be nice to know that someone stopped by to visit every now and then. Sure I know that the individual we loved and communicated with is not really in the grave, but what remains of their physical bodies are still there. I don't want to get morbid, but I just think we need to show more concern and respect by making more frequent visit to their grave sites.
Am I the only one that feels this way? It could be that I am just having a very sad moment and it will pass, but I don't think so! I would love to hear about your experiences and how you feel about this topic. I have even thought about having a "Visit the Cemetery" day. We have boss's day and secretary's day don't we? Why not a day set aside to visit our loved ones that are no longer with us? This would at least give us the opportunity to visit once a year.
One and a half years ago, our daughter was pregnant with their second child. Twenty-two weeks into the pregnancy she developed severe abdominal pains, which resulted in their son being born early. After giving birth, our grandson lived approximately eight hours. (Please excuse my flowing of tears right now) This was one the toughest ordeals I have ever been through in my life, not to mention having to perform the home going ceremony. I barely made it through that short time span.
I am telling you this because I am sure that most of you have lost a loved one and know what I am feeling at this very moment. I will never get over the heartache that is felt when I think of Colin. We are blessed to have another grandson that is almost 4 years old and he brings peace , joy and comfort to my heart each and every day.
I went to the cemetery last week and the thought crossed my mind as to why more of us do not visit our deceased loved ones on a regular basis. I know we have good intentions and I know there is nothing we can do for them, but if I were lying there it would be nice to know that someone stopped by to visit every now and then. Sure I know that the individual we loved and communicated with is not really in the grave, but what remains of their physical bodies are still there. I don't want to get morbid, but I just think we need to show more concern and respect by making more frequent visit to their grave sites.
Am I the only one that feels this way? It could be that I am just having a very sad moment and it will pass, but I don't think so! I would love to hear about your experiences and how you feel about this topic. I have even thought about having a "Visit the Cemetery" day. We have boss's day and secretary's day don't we? Why not a day set aside to visit our loved ones that are no longer with us? This would at least give us the opportunity to visit once a year.
I will looked forward to any and all responses to this post and I will respond back as well. Have a blessed day and remember to show your love and concerned for those that are still with you. You never know when they will be called home!
Missing my little buddy!
Eddie
Missing my little buddy!
Eddie
Dear Eddie,
ReplyDeleteI'm leaving you a big ((((HUG)))), and a link to my other blog. My other blog has gone through many transformations in regard to what it's about. These past several months it is about the loss of someone dear to me, My Mother. I share and understand your emotion.
In my area most families do sorta have a day to visit the cemeteries. It's Memorial Day. As a child I remember always going with my folks and grandmother and great aunts. You'd go check the condition of the stone, leave flowers and talk about family. As time went on there were fewer of us to visit the cemetery, more there. The great aunts passed, my grandparents etc.
One of my hobbies is actually photographing cemeteries. I began to document Civil War Veterans, wanted those old stones recorded before they were no longer readable, then added photographing stones for others. People often from out of town who didn't have the ability to visit, had never seen a grave of a loved one and needed closure, or who were doing their family genealogy and needed assistance. From that it became photographing and documenting as many stones as I could, particularly in historic cemeteries with no written records, or limited written records. I've photographed thousands, probably have about 3,000 currently in need of editing and posting. I tried to post them in websites dedicated to that purpose, in places where people looking might find them.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know we all move on as Life must go on; but that doesn't mean that spot goes away. It just gets more bearable.
HUGS for you and yours,
Sandy
Hello my friend,
ReplyDelete9 years ago, I lost my daughter to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I truly do feel your pain. There is never a second of any day that I've not thought of her and it will be that way for the rest of my life, and so too, will it be for you.
I share this with you not to be morbid, not to be condescending, but rather, to let you know that I understand exactly where you're coming from. I am where you are and not only do I feel your pain, I share it as well.
Be well, my friend.
Peace.
Hi Eddie,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you at this moment. I am giving you a virtual hug.
I think that it's important to visit the grave site but not everyone can deal with the emotions of these visits.
There are several ways to honor someone's memory including visiting the cemetery.
Eddie's I have the same feeling before and is really really hard to take it, I mean tears is always unstoppable, and I wish the best to all your endeavor, and may happiness follow you along with your heart.
ReplyDeleteHi Eddie,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear of your loss and I also understand how you feel. With regards to visiting the grave, I actually revisit pictures, memories in my heart, stories, and like to have things that belonged to them around, but prefer to remember them the way my relationship was with them.... if that makes sense.
I think of them in terms of the relationship I had with that person.
When I go to a gravesite, all I can think of is the pain of losing that person and the funeral... it makes me so sad all over again. The other way, I miss them, but between the tears, I seem to find somthing to also smile about.
I have, however, never lost someone so young without have the opportunity to build those memories.
Hi Eddie, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's really hard to lost a loved one and I agree that we must at least visit our deceased loved ones in the cemetery.
ReplyDeleteHere in the Philippines, it is our tradition to visit our loved one's graves every November 1 as we celebrate the All Saint's Day. This is a special holiday in the Philippines, it is the time when most Filipinos would flock to the cemeteries.
Have a great weekend to you!
You've been on my mind today, so thought I'd pop back in to leave ya another HUG
ReplyDeleteSandy
To Sandy,
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend for writing such a comforting note and for feeling my loss even though this occurred some time ago. You have become a real blessing to me.
Friends 4 Life!
To Mike's Blog Marketing Tips
ReplyDeleteThank you so much and I am so sorry to hear of your loss as well. It is one thing to sympathize with another but to be able to empathize with them brings real comfort. Thank you for your words of comfort too.
Friends 4 Life!
To Maria@Conversations with Moms
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind my friend. Thank you for the virtual hug. I will take them anytime, especially during weak moments like this one. Please know that your friendship is appreciated each and every day.
Friends 4 Life!
To The Bad Blogger
ReplyDeleteAlso known as The Comforting Blogger to me. I appreciate your kinds words and I appreciate our new found friendship. Have a great weekend!
Friends 4 Life!
To Brenda Bunney
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a friend to me and responding with such comforting words to this post. I am enjoying our growing friendship and just know that I am here for you as well.
Friends 4 Life!
To Leo Mar
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for responding to this post. I am happy to know that there is at least one country that honors their loved ones that have left this existence. What a wonderful celebration to participate in on a yearly basis. I know many visit their loved ones more than once and that's wonderful too.
Friends 4 Life!
I know the feeling and my sympathy is with you my friends. You are still lucky you can visit your lost loved one regularly. I lost my mom 15 years ago and in all the past years I've been able to visit her at least 10 times. I live too far away from were she is buried. It was her wish to be buried in her hometown. But thoughts of her sweeps my mind every now and then... and I feel the same feeling you are feeling now. Cheers my friend. They know we love and miss them.
ReplyDeleteBigDaddyRichard
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comforting comment my friend. I am sorry that you are unable to visit your mother on any kind of regular basis, but I know you love and think of her often. It is good for those of us who have loved ones close by to go and visit as often as possible. I know you truly miss your mom.
Friends 4 Life!
Hello Ed,
ReplyDeleteMy grandparents died ten years ago. I'm not able to regularly visit their graves because of work. But I always think of them.
In the Philippines, We, Filipinos, celebrate All Saint's Day (Nov 1) and/or All Soul's Day (Nov 2) by visiting the graves of our dear departed. Some would even stay overnight in a cemetery just to be with their relatives who passed away.
Dropping in with another (((((((HUG)))))))
ReplyDeleteHey, did you notice I added your link in my blog log? Maybe you could do the same.
Sandy
Hi Eddie, I am trying to check for updates on your blog and drop my EC too when I noticed my blog on your blog list. It is greatly appreciated, my friend. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Eddie
ReplyDeleteThought I'd pop in and help you with your blog log. It's one of the easier things to do...so many I'm clueless on. When you're in layout mode, add a widget, select blog log right from your blogger widgets. It gives you a space to cut and paste the url, it gives the ability to alter the name (I often add the person's name after it...if I know it), it gives the option to have your list alphabetical or in order of most recently updated blog first (which is one I use). You can choose how many to show on your front page (I show all), you can choose whether to go with just the name, a quick summary...like title of most recent blog post (which is the one I use), or you can have more then the summary. The beauty of these blog logs to me...ease of getting back and forth to blogs I like; seeing who's updated so I don't miss something. I find it much easier to use then the following thing on your dashboard area.
HUGS
Sandy
SUPER! Glad it worked out for you Eddie.
ReplyDeleteOh, I need to go do laundry...errrrrrr I want to sit here and play more. lol
Hugs
Sandy
Eddie,
ReplyDeleteI don't even know you. I was just dropping cards for my latest blog, came across your post, tried to comment, wasn't logged in, lost your post, had to back track to Entrecard to find it, and here I am. *whew*
That was a beautiful post. I think it's appropriate for you to remember your grandchild however you want to. Sometimes it's comforting to go to the grave site because you feel like you can center yourself and release the grief. Just don't ever forget that your grandchild would want what's best for you and leave with that in your heart.
Lori
hmm i can feel it.. :( btw, dont wory i have drop your ec.. :(
ReplyDeleteTo Find a Feature
ReplyDeleteThank you Lori for exerting the effort to find my blog once again. That means a lot to me and thank you so much for your comforting words. I will try to visit his grave site again tomorrow. I miss that little fellow so much but I know I must carry on knowing that I will see him again one of these days.
Friends 4 Life!
To money online
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping on my EC and taking time to read my latest post and make a brief comment. I hope you will come and visit again.
Friends 4 Life!
Thank you very much for the lovely visit at my site...
ReplyDeleteActually... since i was young I've known our Lord Jesus. My parents raised me up in a the church... I mean I grew up in the family of God.
Actually I'm a born again Christian. Harvest Time Temple- that's the name of our church.
LOL. I'm a sort of Asian fanatic. You know watching TV... But I still keep my limitations and boundaries in idolizing people... :)
I'm glad to be here. It's a great pleasure for me to know my family in Christ. Nice to see you.